Labels: carrot top, poor kid,
gopher, four eyes, ugly, just . . . These are some of the
labels Phil wore as a young school boy. It made me think of my
elementary years and the labels I wore. When I was in first grade,
we had first and second grade together for the first half of the year
while an addition was being built onto the school. This was a good
thing for me because when she was teaching the second graders, I
heard them reading and reading came easy for me and that teacher was a
very good teacher. Then we first graders went down to the new
classroom and even though the teacher was very nice, there was at
least one incident that labeled me. I remember when we were
learning to tell time and I answered a question that it was 45 minutes
after two and she said I was wrong, that it was 2:45. But my parents
had taught me to tell time this way and I felt rejected and dumb.
In second grade I broke my arm and I
recall the teacher fussing at me for scratching my desk. She didn't
say anything till I almost had my cast off so she could have remedied
the situation earlier. But I felt chastised and guilty.
Third grade was the worse! The teacher had two sets of students and
we knew we weren't her favorites being on the blue team. During an
oral book report, I was nervous and mistakenly said the Big Bad Wolf
was a different animal. The teacher said, “You go sit down. You
haven't read the book.” I was mortified and ashamed. And I
felt dumb. Fourth grade was probably the best year as the
teacher was a lot older and kind. I don't remember anything
negative! But fifth grade was humiliating. The teacher was
determining where we were going to sit with two desks being against
each other. And she paired the students together until it was just
one boy and me remaining. No one wanted to sit beside him because he
smelled bad. But I was made to sit with him. This made me feel
devalued and ostracized. I also remember being called out of
class by the principal because my mother hadn't sent a doctor's
excuse for one of my foster brothers. I was a child! And I should
not have had this burden put on me. I felt scared. Also that
year, because we didn't have a phone, the second grade teacher
threatened me that if my foster brother didn't bring in a library
book the next day that I would be in trouble. I felt treated
unfairly and was afraid of authority figures.
Sixth grade was a blur. The teacher
didn't teach much and was out of the classroom often. But I can see
now in looking back that I had leadership qualities as I wrote a
letter of thanks to the PTA for our class trip to Gettysburg and
signed it from the class. I also learned that I could sing! I
missed being in county chorus because I was sick the day of the
tryouts. Lesson learned: I was more than the labels put on me.
Also during these years, I was always
the last person picked for playing ball and genuinely felt like a
shadow, unseen by most. During recess, the teachers made us
go outside and then they would circle the building with their
knitting in hand, walking without being present to what was happening
on the playground. I was also taunted and made fun of on the way home
from the bus stop. What wounds children inflict on other children!
Such a sad state of the human heart.
So I determined when I went to seventh
grade that this was my chance to become popular. To get lots of
friends in a new environment. But I ended up escaping to the library
and reading all kinds of fiction books. I read a book a day most
days! But my studies suffered and I failed seventh grade. So my new
label was failure. This turned out to be a good thing as it
opened my eyes to reality and also landed me with a different group
of friends. And as the years progressed, I progressed in learning. I
found out I wasn't dumb! Lesson learned: education was a
positive and I could learn.
We all know children can be cruel but
it is unconscionable when adults hurt a child. I don't think these
kinds of things happen in our schools today, at least I hope not.
But since I experienced being the odd one out and not feeling wanted,
it helped me later in high school to reach out to others in those
situations. There were two boys on the school bus that no one wanted
to sit with and they would each choose the two front seats. So I
decided I would take turns sitting with each of them. This was my
way of making my earlier wounds produce the fruit of kindness. Lesson
learned: compassion.
A lot of labels are hurtful but there
are many that are not. Think of . . .beautiful, lovely, smart,
cute, awesome, handsome, graceful, kind; and many more.
The little boy named Phil from the
beginning of this blog is Phil Cross! He is a successful
singer/songwriter. He continues on to say that he met a Friend who
has a book and He wrote his name in the book. And Phil's new label is –
I am Redeemed! He wrote a song with this title and you can
see the video clip HERE of him recounting his labels as a young boy
and then hear his song, I Am Redeemed.
I am so thankful that I also found this
Friend, Jesus, as a sixteen year old! It was then I realized that I
was loved, cherished, a daughter of the Almighty Father God, a member
of the Family of God, a child of God, and I could also take on this
new label, I am Redeemed!
I hope my
recounting these early childhood wounds will not come across as
whining but will serve as an encouragement that we can overcome these
types of labels and replace them with the true things of who we are
as a person. But most of all, we need to release the things all
those kids said to us in elementary school and (re)learn who we are
in Christ.
Ephesians 2:10,
“We are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
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