The Story of Two Fathers

A few weeks ago while eating with friends we were talking about water heaters, of all things. And I said, “We didn't have a water heater in our home until I was out of the home, married and had three children.” And my friend was astonished. He said, "Did you heat water and dump it into the tub?" And I said, “We didn't have a tub!”

I went on to say that we didn't have a furnace, curtains at the windows, a telephone or indoor plumbing. We did get a black and white television around 1956. Why didn't we have modern amenities in the 1950's and beyond? My father was born in 1899. He was 50 when I was born. He had seen World War I as a soldier and had recently gone through the Great Depression. His childhood was not easy being the seventh child in his family when his father died before the baby was born. He told stories of being “farmed out” to a neighboring family to help tend sheep. His payment was a new pair of jeans plus his room and board. His oldest sister was his teacher in a one room school house. He only had an eighth grade education but he was a whiz at mental arithmetic and was a skilled carpenter. He worked as an electrician on airplanes during World War II.

There were at least two sides to my father. If I woke up early enough I would sit on his lap on a weekday morning before he went off to work. I remember him going sledding with me as a young child. Good memories. When I was in second grade my parents began hosting foster children and he would sometimes tell me there was a treat in the garage for me, usually a candy bar. I think he felt I needed a special treat occasionally. One day we got a new boy and he was shy and scared being in a new home and wouldn't eat. I remember seeing my dad feeding him spoonfuls of soup and talking to him gently. He told him if he ate his soup he could see a pretty picture in the bottom of the bowl. This was a very strange side of my father for me to see as I had seen a sterner, stricter side most of the time.

My dad was very authoritative and demanding. When he said to do something, we all knew to obey. And I learned very early that telling the truth had its rewards. No spankings! He was very impatient and wanted things to be done quickly. I remember being sent to the tool shed many times to look for a tool I knew nothing about. If it took me too long to find it, he would come to the shed and swear. I would often run into the house even before I looked and get mother to help me so I wouldn't have to hear him swear and feel his displeasure.

I remember having to sit at the table until I ate everything on my plate and choking down food I didn't like. This is so different from him feeding soup to a little boy! We children were taught to work and I do appreciate my father teaching me to enjoy working. But we worked under some extreme circumstances, like a grainery which had no ventilation. We children were to take turns during harvest by standing in the middle of the grainery and shoveling the grain toward the back.  His neighbor man was shoveling the grain in toward us and the dust was so thick and it was hard to breathe. I used to dread this job days before it arrived. We ground corn for the cows to eat which was also dusty. We had to carry the ground meal to the barn.

A lot of Saturdays our job was shoveling manure into the spreader. In the fall we spent many an evening and Saturday husking corn. Dad didn't want a picker to harvest his corn because it left a lot of waste so his neighboring farmers would help him cut the corn with a sickle, put it into shocks and stand them up in the field. In the fall we would push these shocks over, kneel down in front of it and husk each ear off the stock. We would throw the corn onto a pile which we had to pick up later and throw into a wagon. Occasionally we did this in the snow and there were many cold mornings. We also pulled weeds throughout the corn field during the summer. He would give us a certain amount of rows we had to do while he was at work.

Remember the primitive conditions I mentioned above? My father didn't have a bathroom in our home because our land wouldn't perk but the other things he withheld from my mother didn't have such a good reason. He would say, “There will be no curtains at my windows. Windows were meant to see out of.” I used to lie in bed at night dreaming of when I would be able to provide these comforts of home for my mother. I wanted her to feel cherished and special as a woman. And God gave me that opportunity the last three years of her life.

In my teen years after I became a Christian I wanted to attend evening service at my local church. I found out that if I asked Dad if I could go he would say, “What do you want to go to church again for? You were already there once today!” And it was a hassle to get permission. But if I just went without asking, there was no punishment! My father who wanted nothing to do with religion shocked me when I came home from Bible college for a visit. I had been praying a silent grace for over a year at meals and all of a sudden he had me pray aloud the blessing on the food. What conflicted situations!

All these mixed messages and a desire to please my father would eventually lead to years of depression and lack of self worth, especially after his death. That might be a topic for a future blog.

But I am so thankful my heavenly Father loved me so much He gave his son, Jesus, to be my Savior. John 3:16. But many people, like me, have needed healing in our image of God. These verses are just a few that show the heart of the heavenly Father.

Psalm 103:8 “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” Ephesians 1:4-5, He chose us . . .to be adopted as his children.

I John 3:1 “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called the children of God.”

Luke 6:36 “Be merciful just as your father is merciful.”

Matthew 11:29, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls.”

Romans 8:15, “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, Abba Father!”

I have a heavenly Father who is a Good, Good Father. I love this song by Chris Tomlin. You can listen to an audio of the song here.

Oh, I've heard a thousand stories
Of what they think You're like
But I've heard the tender whisper
Of love in the dead of night
And You tell me that You're pleased
And that I'm never alone

You're a good good Father
It's who You are, it's who You are, it's who You are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

Oh, and I've seen many searching
For answers far and wide
But I know we're all searching
For answers only You provide
‘Cause You know just what we need
Before we say a word

You're a good good Father
It's who You are, it's who You are, it's who You are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

Cause You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways to us

You are perfect in all of Your ways
Oh, You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways to us

Oh, it's love so undeniable
I, I can hardly speak
Peace so unexplainable
I, I can hardly think
As You call me deeper still
As You call me deeper still
As You call me deeper still
Into love, love, love

You're a good good Father
It's who You are, it's who You are, it's who You are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

You're a good good Father
It's who You are, it's who You are, it's who You are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am
You're a good good Father

You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways

Mother's in Israel

As a young girl nearing the teen years my mother stopped going to her church in town because my father complained about traveling seven miles to town when there was a church “in our back yard”, as he would say. It was actually about a half mile the way the crow flies but a mile by car. So Dad would take us to this nice country church and drop us off.
 

As a child living in a nominal Christian home I was at a cross roads, spiritually speaking. I needed a Mother in Israel. This phrase is not used much in our modern vernacular. To me it means a woman who shares her life and love with a needy person. A woman who leads by example. A woman who invests her time and energy into helping, encouraging, and praying for a lost, needy soul to come to a fullness of knowing Christ and to help them know how to live for Christ here on earth.

The phrase, Mother in Israel comes directly from Scripture in Judges 5:6-7 where Deborah identifies herself as a Mother in Israel. This happened after a great military victory led by Deborah. Jubilation gives rise to a song, which celebrates the exciting events and captures them for posterity. You can read more of the Old Testament story in a blog by Michael D Green Jr. here.

As a teenage girl my Sunday School teacher was Hazel Wise. Class was held in the last pew on the left side of the sanctuary. A large class of adults used the right side of the sanctuary. So we girls would sit in the last pew and Sister Wise would stand in front of us. She was so nice and sweet. She taught us how to pray by having us pray sentence prayers. That was less formidable or threatening. She was an awesome teacher mostly because we knew she cared. She loved us. It was Sister Wise who asked me one night in revival if I wanted to go to the altar and become a Christian. It was that opening of a window into my soul that God finally penetrated that night as I was laying in my bed. He wouldn't let me sleep until I said Yes to Him. Sister Wise's influence and friendship continued into my adult life and she was the caterer for my wedding reception!

Carol Ogburg and her family were neighbors to my parents and when I came home from college for a visit Mother told me I should get to know her. Carol was not much older than me but she was wise and caring, plus a lot of fun. She was a Mennonite who lived her faith everyday and she took me in under her wing. She taught me many things and we did lots of projects together. She was a listening ear to me during my engagement year and helped in wedding planning. She and her husband hosted the rehearsal meal since my in-laws were from out of state. Carol went to be with the Lord way too early. She was 39 when she lost her battle to ovarian cancer. She took many of my secret thoughts and struggles to heaven with her. She was a wonderful friend and perhaps even a Mother in Israel to me!

Eleanor Slagenweit and her husband were deacons at their church when we were pastoring our first church at Canoe Creek Brethren in Christ near Hollidaysburg, Pa. I am not sure how we first got acquainted but we connected. She was so caring and had a great listening ear. She made me feel welcome to go to her home and spend a good part of a day with her. We would often do something like canning fruit or vegetables while we talked. Well, I talked and Eleanor listened. But then she would give good council and pray with me. She was just what a young new pastor's wife needed. And she was also a good “grandma” to our babies too. She kept our one year old son when I was in the hospital with our newborn daughter. This friendship continued over the years and Eleanor and Mark had become the pastoral couple at Canoe Creek a little while before we began pastoring in Altoona, a few miles away. So now we had fellowship and connections as pastoral couples. We enjoyed many good times in their home and appreciated their friendship. Five years later we finished pastoring at Altoona and actually attended Canoe Creek church for a year and now Mark and Eleanor were our pastoral couple. Eleanor was my rock in a troubled time and I could call her or visit with her and she would give good council and pray with me.

There were a few more that I could mention, like Leah Young, a Bible teacher, prayer warrior and friend to many. Barb Wirrick was a peer, but she was always ready to offer help when needed. I spent many a day sitting at her kitchen table talking and trying to figure out life, love, and me! Norma Horst, is an encourager and confidant; whom I refer to as my Forever Friend. Of all these women, Norma is the only one still living and she is the proof reader for my blog.

So, do you have special people in your life that have been a Mother in Israel to you? Give special thanks to Jesus and to them for speaking into your life. Have you ever thought about what an influence and Kingdom builder you can be as you give your time and heart and invest in the spiritual lives of people?

I am so thankful for all these ladies that were in my life. I am rich in friends and in all these women who have gone on to their heavenly reward. Now it is my turn to pay it forward and invest in women who need an encouraging word or hug or comforting hand on their shoulder. It is my turn to tell them of the victory that can be won through Christ. It is my turn.

Surprised by A Song . . .or Two

It was an ordinary evening as I sat in my chair looking at Facebook over a year ago. I saw a link to a story that I thought may be interesting and began a journey through a blog written by Kelli Haddock.  Her story is quite heartbreaking and yet inspiring.  Over ten years ago while traveling with her husband and 14 mo old son, they were in a horrible traffic accident which took the life of her husband and left her son with many injuries.


I next followed a link to her music (Kelli is a singer/songwriter) and was listening to some of her music while reading the stories behind the songs.  When the song, “Is It Enough”* started to play, I immediately burst into tears.  And not just tears but sobs.  This is so unlike me.  I can sometimes tear up, but not often do I break out sobbing. And that is what happened when I heard these words: “Is it enough to simply come with nothing in my hands for you?  Is it enough to simply say that there's little to be said to you?  This is where I am today. My busy mind needs to quiet down.  I need to stop and listen, I need to hear you say, It is enough for me to come.”

Why did this touch me?  Because I had been too busy.  I had not come to Him in a few weeks.  And this was after a season of really searching and meditating in a concerted manner for more of the Presence of God and here I was, not even spending much time with the Lord.  Of course, I had been in touch “on the run”!  So I sobbed and cried out to the Lord.  I was so happy to realize anew that it was “Enough to simply come to him and rest and sit a while with Him”.  It was ok not to have words.  Not to make excuses.  Just to be.  And to understand that He was ok with that.  And that He is ok with me.  He just wants me to sit a while with Him. To listen.

Fast forward a few weeks to a concert by Frances Drost, another singer/songwriter.  I feel so blessed to call Frances a friend.  I was enjoying the Portraits of White concert immensely.  Near the end of the evening, Frances sang the song, “You With Me”**.  She asks the question, “What does a lonely soul have to do to be unlonely at the busiest time of the year?” (Christmas)  Then the chorus says, “God with us is you with me, his hands and feet are in my reach. I know he cares when you are there.  God with us is you with me.”   The next verse ends with the question, “Is there anyone here loving me?”

For some reason, my mind linked these two songs.  Both are hauntingly beautiful.  Both bring me to tears.  Both bring me to Jesus.  Frances ends the song with these words, “Jesus came down to earth to live with us and touch us.  His love carries on when we give our love to each other.”



*Kelli Haddock’s story can be found on her website:  kellihaddock.com
 The song, Is It Enough?  is on the album, Leave the Light On and can be found on the website and also iTunes

**Frances Drost can be found at: francesdrost.com
Her song, You With Me is on the album, Portraits of White and can be found on You Tube and Spotify.







        

Guilt or Grace?

She was sitting in her special quiet place with the lamplight falling on the pages of a love letter. She poured over the words and took in the meaning of the words meant just for her. She longed for the day she would see him face to face and get to express her love for him. But she didn't realize he was right there with her! Sitting right next to her. She wasn't attuned to his presence!

How many of us have felt guilty about having “devotions”? How many of us have struggled with having a time of reading our Bible and praying? Is it just a “chore” to cross off our list? Is it something we do or Someone we meet?

Jesus said in John 5:39-40, “You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you will find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These scriptures are all about me!” And here I am, standing right before you and you aren't willing to receive from Me the life you say you want.” AMP

This sounds like reading the Scriptures isn't important. But that isn't what Jesus is saying. Here it is in ESV: “You search the scriptures because you think in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.”

A few months ago two friends posted quotes the same day that complemented each other, not knowing the other was posting. They spoke truth to me. The first one: “Too many people are content to live a life of information rather than revelation. But knowledge alone will never inflame a sustained blaze in you to love Jesus passionately. Only revelation will do that.” Banning Leishbscher in Journey of a World Changer. The second quote: “Revelation leads to encounter which leads to relationship.”

Remember, you are meeting with a Person – Jesus. He is the lover of our souls and He made Adam (and the human race) at Creation for the purpose of fellowship. He wants to be in a relationship with us on a personal, individual basis. It is in Him that we find eternal life. And after we have come to Him in saving faith, He desires us to commune with him. So read your Bible for sure, but also take time to sit in His Presence, be quiet and wait. Wait to feel Him right there with you. He lives in your heart. But our lives, our minds are so busy that we need to quiet ourselves to be able to sense His Presence. Then take time to talk to him, friend to Friend. And you will progress from Information, to Revelation, to a Relationship. And this will lead to Transformation.

Francis Chan wrote: “Our lack of intimacy is due to our refusal to unplug and shut off communication from all others so we can be alone with Him.”

Paul David Tripp wrote in DangerousCalling, “

Chosen by the will of the Father.

Justified by the sacrifice of the Son

Transformed by the presence of the Spirit

GRACE

Sins forgiven

Acceptance given

Presence assured

Wisdom given

Power supplied

Future sealed

GRACE